I just finished watching a movie called With This Ring, on LMN. It led me to write this article. I had been thinking about this for a while, but watching it more or less convinced me.
The premise of this movie is about three women who make a vow to get married within the year… but at the end they all come to realize that they need to be happy with where they are at and stop looking to the future or waiting for a husband to be happy.
I’ve been thinking about this for a while, often we are constantly looking to the future and never living in the present. We are looking for that perfect job, perfect spouse, someone to love, wanting to have a child, to make something of ourselves, wanting more money, waiting for more of everything…
One thing I’ve learned in recent years, is to be happy now and to be happy with where I am. If I hadn’t come to this realization, I might have not realized so early in Baby P’s life to enjoy my time with her. I can’t say I enjoy every minute, but most of the time I try to be and stay happy with where we are. It’s not the easiest thing in the world, but rolling with the punches that come along with a baby is what has helped.
In order for me to be happy with where I was, I had to realize a few things:
- Stop waiting to be happy. I would always tell myself things like “I’ll be happy when I’m married… when I have my degree… when I have a child…” If we are always looking to the future, we’ll never be happy.
- Stop looking only to the future. This is not to say I don’t still dream and hope… after all scripture does say “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life” (Proverbs 13:12). But I stopped looking only to the future. I’ve found that this way I can be content with where I am right now, with who I am today.
- Stop looking to others to make me happy. Even though I am very much in love with my husband, I can’t rely on him to make me happy. It is not his job to do that. It’s not my kids’ responsibility to make me happy either. Only I can chose to be happy no matter what comes.
- I need to be happy with who I am. I realized that ultimately I needed to be content with who I am. I also realized that time does speed by, especially when you are a parent. I swear I just had my baby yesterday, but now she is over 8 months old! If I hadn’t realized early on that I need to appreciate every moment with her, I might have regrets about being unhappy in the midst of the harder times with her (like the lack of sleep during the newborn state or teething).